Getting there...

Only 3 weeks until the end of term and therefore the end of my first placement. Unbelievable. Crazy how fast time goes past.

I had a good day on Tuesday, for once I actually felt like I could do this and that maybe it wouldn't suck forever. Not so on Wednesday when I thought I was doing OK and suddenly AP starts taking over. Then, he kept talking to students whilst I was trying to get them to be quiet and listen, so GODDAMN DISTRACTING, if I did that in his lessons he'd have a fit. Then, I forgot what time the lesson ended, I thought it ended 10 minutes later than it actually did and when I realised, I skipped an activity and got them to write their homework down, pack up and wait for the bell. Meanwhile, I was talking to another student, explaining something to her and the bell rang, because I was concentrating on E. I forgot to tell them to go so they were a couple of minutes late out the door and he BOLLOCKED me. Andy rants normally really amuse me, not so amusing when you're the subject of them :( so that made me feel like shit.


I'm so tired of being constantly judged and criticised but I know that I just have to suck it up and deal with it for the most part. It sucks though. On the plus side, yesterday we went to the Isle of Wight to help some yr 11s with a competition. My group came second out of about 15 groups so that was brilliant. I had a really great day and it really lifted my spirits for a while, the kids were lovely and many people commented at how good my rapport was with them.

Oh well,  not long until I leave this placement, hopefully the next one will be better.

Also, I passed my first assignment with a good pass :)

Disillusioned

I am so frustrated, my first placement is doing nothing to help me, or at least that's how it feels. I have no mentoring and my mentor flat out said that he thought it was a waste of time and pointless. I have to actually write about mentoring sessions as that is one of Tanya's requirements, essentially I am just going to have to make it up. It's so frustrating and it's really getting me down, I haven't even considered teaching yet, let alone 10 hours of it, I have no idea how I'm going to get 6 formal observations done in time, I'm terrified that I'm going to have to repeat or something.  Then, as a result of all of this, Mat and I get into an argument, or rather, I misdirect my frustrations and anger and turn into a bitch. Great. He's still sleeping and I imagine he's quite rightly angry at me. Happy goddamn Saturday.


When I spoke to my mentor about my concerns he said that he didn't have time to do that kind of mentoring and that that's just life but he did say that I have only had 2 weeks in the school so of course I haven't started teaching yet.  I hope I'll end up teaching bits next week.  Tanya is coming to observe me on the 7th December, one day after my birthday, joy. I need to have had some decent experience by that point.

On the plus side, it was INSET day yesterday so I covered about 15 QTS standards in one hit.